Many years ago (like 1975-ish) Bob wrote a poem entitled: “My Old Friend, Pain”. He has been acquainted with orthopedic pain more than the average person, mostly from the childhood bike-riding accident where he was hit by a car, thrown 30 feet, and then run over by the same car! Because of the lasting effects, he’s had 2 hip replacements and 2 knee replacements, and, then, of his own doing broke 2 vertebrae and one ankle, which was severe enough to still cause pain 22 years later. The last hip replacement was just earlier this month, and he is now in the recovery stages. This poem was written by our daughter, Eve, and was inspired by his poem on pain:
Your old friend - pain
Is back again
To humble
And to sharpen
But if you turn your head just right
You start to see reflected light
The contrast, starkly defined
Joy and health - the other side
Without Old Pain
They're undefined
And lacking in their meaning
You've had your share of suffering
A companion through the years
It's played a role
Sometimes a starring part
But you've kept an open heart
You remain
In Pain
But empathetic to the plight
And hopeful for the dawn
You've emerged
Battle - scarred, but wiser
Tired, but kinder
A man who understands
You can't have day without the night
You can't know peace without the fight
Your old friend Pain is back again
Your body heals
Here you stand
Intact
A wounded, but unbroken man.
It’s been a traumatic 3 months, starting with my son last November, who developed a painful jaw infection accompanied by careless medical care, resulting in emergency room visits and hospitalizations for infection, onset of diabetes from pancreatitis and pending kidney failure. Over-use of steroids complicated his recovery and ability to fight the infection. those were some very tense and worrysome days, lasting into the new year. It required a kind of patience I didn’t know existed. But, we drew together as a family and prayers became a source of strength and healing.
I thought the new year was a harbinger of health, but then my 16 year old grand daughter presented with painful hands that quickly lost their use. Swelling started and medical tests showed nothing.
Then, last Monday, our 18 year old grandson (all of these are in the same family) was rushed to the emergency room with gut pain and jaundice. For the next week he underwent diagnostic ultrasound and endoscopy with gall bladder removal on Wednesday, followed by another procedure to remove more gall stones in the ducts, and finally being released from the hospital on Friday.
We all breathed a sigh of relief, only to be awakened late Friday night with news that paramedics were called in response to my grand daughter’s inability to breathe…very scary…thought to be a panic attack.
So much for the harbinger of health. More like a trip to troubles!
If I were gold
would I think a crucible to be mean?
A dark tomb
with painful heat
that reaches to the soul,
and burns.
Those hours I would never choose.
No.
Look at me--
all cluttered.
I've gathered much along the way.
I carry to much baggage.
I want to let it go.
I pray with fervor to find a way.
The crucible!
How ironic.
The very thing that I abhor
Is now my darkened prison.
The unwanted firey trial
Seems longer than it is.
Daylight finally shoots it's glorious beam
Upon my soul.
My soul--it's free.
The baggage gone
Consumed within the fire.
In weightless glory I rise
And leave this crucible behind
For now.
Purified, changed, whole, free.
I'm finally Me.
This 2 minute video is about the value of adversity
A few weeks ago, the snow came unexpectedly deep. Tree limbs all around the community crashed onto whatever was below them. We were no exception. A large limb fell onto our garden/picnic area, but the one of most concern was a neighbor’s huge branch that toppled onto our fence and down into our back yard, blocking the way to the garage.
Our backyard debris
Last October in the general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, President Nelson commented on the progress of the remodeling of the Salt Lake Temple, and said, “As I have watched workers dig out old tree roots, plumbing, wiring, and a leaky fountain, I have thought about the need for each of us to remove, with the Savior’s help, the old debris in our lives.”
I can relate to that with the recent branches that fell. They are not easy to remove. It has to be done one piece at a time moving from what you can reach, eventually getting to all of it. It is possible. I hope all the clutter and un-organization and debris in my office can likewise be removed and/or organized. But I wonder about myself. Is there debris inside me that clutters my way to doing things better? Bob wrote a poem about that:
As we search and meditate upon our inner self,
We strive to understand ourselves, and where to find true wealth.
What kind of thoughts have taken seed within our mind and heart?
Do our souls, like any garden, need us to do our part?
Each thought is like a seed. We can plant or throw away.
Good and bad seeds grow more strong through every passing day.
Lord, may we grow in strength to learn and choose what's right.
Through more faith and obedience, we can walk within God's light.
The following is a link to the 4.5 minute message of President Nelson:
Time while on this Earth is always flowing in multi-colored dimensions, and always passing and ever changing, ever growing. In this life each moment and second of time are never the same….
Our last post referred to a Youtube 1964 video entitled “Man’s Search for Happiness”. This video presents a concept of ‘time’ unique to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
“For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.” Alma 34:32 (in the Book of Mormon).
In times past I’ve often been pacified by thinking that I have lots of time to do whatever I need or want to do, but when I turned 60, my thinking changed as I realized that I was now that ‘older generation’. Time became a more treasured commodity! And now I see that with each passing year, we are less able to do what we used to do in the same amount of time, which only makes time more precious.
A few weeks ago my son’s family (including 5 kids) came for a visit. My knees were unusually painful, and I realized that I simply could not do what I used to do, and that it would take more TIME to do everything now. Stress. So, I formulated a plan. A plan to make better use of time. Instead of running around trying to clean up and fix meals and do dishes, I would look for opportunities to talk one-on-one with the grandkids. To really listen, and to ignore the trivial housework that I knew would nag me. Well, it worked pretty well. I was able to slow down and found my grandkids quite delightful and entertaining.
In the before mentioned youtube, the question is asked, “Time, where does it take me?” And I ask myself how do I spend my time? It’s so easy to be bossed by our self-made lists, and then to be shocked at the end of the day that we didn’t get it all done. I am trying to take time each morning to evaluate what things are most needful for that day, and especially try to think of people and their needs and to put them at the top of my list as the most needful. Often, I am impressed by the spirit to think of someone or something….all in an attempt to have quality time rather than empty time.
Bob recently wrote this: TAKE TIME
Take time to see a rainbow or to watch a butterfly.
Take time to help another soul who has something in their eye.
Take time to watch a sunrise, or sunset on each new day.
Take time to tank the Lord for everything that comes our way.
Take time to thank our Mother for all her tender care.
Take time to thank our Father for his work and being there.
Take time upon each Sabbath Day to take the Sacrament.
Take time each precious day to thank those who pay the rent!
Time is always on the move as we circle around God's Son,
From dawn to eve, we each can see the things that we have done.
At work or play, in war or peace, on land, in air or sea,
We each can choose to use or waste times precious quantity.
Some choose to the pursuit of riches they can gain,
While others seek for higher goals than worldly, selfish fame,
Like love of wife and family within God's eternal plan.
Those who truly seek this goal will understand.
Time is a gift more precious than the riches we can gain.
Greed poisons each person's souls and kills our heart and brain.
We loose the ability to see God's wondrous earth,
As all life flows, sings and grows for those who seek true worth.
Through work and play, Lord teach us love. Give us eyes to see
And ears that hear another's woes, and a heart both warm and free,
That we may use our time as service we do bring
To love and serve each other, that in time spent, joy will sing.
As always, a great treasure of media can be found on churchofjesuschrist.org
Spiritual treasures are all around us if we have eyes to see.
The dawn's first light is filled with Grace as light touches each tree.
On through each day, as trials come, prayer guides us who listen clear,
Until Eve's colors kiss the clouds, as we feel God's love grow near.
I can testify that spiritual peace can come all the time; both in good and happy times, but also in times of stress and confusion, sadness and pain. It’s such a simple thing to reach out through prayer, but there is no better way. Believe that God loves you and is aware of you. He knows all that you face and is ready to listen and help you. Give it a try…you won’t be sorry.
A couple of months ago, life became ‘out of focus’ for me. I thought I was having a reaction to medications: trouble sleeping, being anxious about everything, not able to think clearly, feelings of doom, nausea, forgetfulness….My MD had me fill out those screening papers for depression. You know the ones.. They ask you to rate how often you feel hopeless and if you find pleasure in daily activites, etc. etc. I scored horribly and she prescribed an anti-depressant, which I decided not to take unless I could not pull myself out.
I tried really hard to focus on the good things going on around me, which, frankly, was quite challenging to do. I tried to think of other people and what they needed and how I could help. I think the most helpful thing was to read scriptures. They give me an eternal perspective, and a virtual slap of reality that we all have troubles, but, we all can turn to Jesus Christ in prayer and thought and receive an unexplainable rest and peace. I tried every day to focus, not just on Christ, but on others around me. Helping others made me feel worthwhile. Little by little, my mood began to change. I began to feel energized and excited about things that I can do.
Serving with heart & mind, body & soul, we help other's needs.
As we serve, others gain more light, as Christ guides our deeds.
We find our hearts grow lighter, leaving worries & cares behind.
Our cares loose their power to overwhelm heart & mind.
When we sit & think about our trials & troubled woes,
Worries grow & magnify & fester our mind, heart & soul.
Mole hills become mountains & they appear impassable.
Let's give time for others needs & our faith will start to grow.
We start to understand the Lord's wisdom when He did say:
"Loose yourself in service unto others," & we will find God's true way.
As we serve other's needs, we become more humble & more meek.
To a bright new way to truly live, as we more humbly seek.
Out of focus!
I know the devastation of Covid, including the disease itself, plus the loss of sociality, and the discord and unrest it has brought about have contributed immensely to widespread depression. Let’s add politics, natural disasters, floods, drought and fires. My hat off to anyone who has not suffered some level of depression. Being that ‘out of focus’ is something that needs attention. Let’s watch out for anyone around us (family, neighbors, friends, co-workers, etc.) There are many options for treating depression. Perhaps we can all just begin by talking; having conversations with those close to us. I am grateful for my family who listen to me, and for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, for all the reminders that God loves me and is always there to help. Check out churchofjesuschrist.org
This morning on “Music and the Spoke Word” Lloyd Newell delighted me with his comments entitled “Of Kindness and Rabbits.” It may sound familiar because he refers to the same ‘rabbit effect’ that Gary E. Stevenson referred to in his April 2021 General Conference address (found in churchofjesuschrist.org in the May 2021 Liahona).
His comments were accompanied by images of a precious little bunny being fed and loved by a lab assistant…You can access this on www.thetabernaclechoir.org/videos/august-08-2021-4795-music-and-the-spoken-word.
I quote from his comments: “Decades ago, researchers measured the effects of diet on the heart health of rabbits. Not surprisingly, rabbits that were fed fatty foods developed cholesterol problems. But something else was surprising–one group of rabbits had significantly better health outcomes. They had eaten the same foods as the other rabbits, but they had also been cared for by a particular researcher–one who happened to be ‘an unusually kind and caring individual’. She didn’t just feed the rabbits. She talked to them, cuddled and petted them. She didn’t know she was altering the results–she was just being herself.
Suddenly this wasn’t just an experiment about genetics and diet. These researchers were learning that relationships matter too. A recent book titled The Rabbit Effect cites these finding and concludes, ‘Ultimately, what affects our health in the most meaningful ways has…much to do with how we treat one another, how we live, and how we think about what it means to be human.’
In other words, ‘the rabbit effect’ could just as easily be called ‘the human effect.’
So many seem so angry as they interact with others–online and in person. Some are raging inside at the outside world, annoyed and impatient with people around them as well as themselves. Even many who aren’t openly hostile have simply become cold, distant, and impersonal. And we wonder why general health and happiness suffer, why peace and calm are so elusive.
Humans, perhaps even more than rabbits, need kindness and caring, affection and love in order to thrive. No one can flourish in an atmosphere of contention and animosity. When we are kind–even if others don’t return the favor–we carry a healthy inner peace, knowing we have generated light instead of heat. When we sincerely care for and about others, we spread compassion and helpfulness more freely throughout the world. And in the process, we create a healthier, happier environment for everyone.
If cuddling a rabbit can lower its cholesterol, imagine what can happen if we look around and reach out in simple, loving ways to people around us. That’s the power of human kindness.”
The Game…
That brings me to my recent thoughts on UNITY. We all know how important that is is sports. We try to achieve that in our families: like what to have for dinner, or places to go on vacation. Even in the family, unity can be elusive. Unity as a community, even as a nation may seem even further out of reach, but, I suppose, ultimately, it starts with each individual.
When we serve in unity, together we are strong.
Unity gives us power to move God's work along.
United, we will stand, divided, we will fall.
When we unite in serving God, we are at the Master's call.
As we serve in unity, our selfish feelings go.
The power from on High fills each mortal soul
That strives to serve in unity of body, mind and heart,
When we dwell in unity, we learn a higher art.
When we truly love each other, joy comes when we try,
And we truly feel for others in their sorrows, when they cry,
When we dwell in unity, we learn of higher love
As heart and mind and body learn oneness from above.
Our greatest blessings come when we unite in love
And strive to serve each other and listen up above.
The Holy Ghost will guide all who live in unity.
May we all live together in God's great family.
Our words should never careless be.
They carry power we do not see.
But, if that power can devastate,
It can also liberate!
How do I know words are powerful? When I was a youth of maybe 13-14–a very awkward and gawky age for me, my dear Aunt Gwen came for a visit. As we conversed casually, she told me that I had beautiful hands. No one had ever said that to me, and she was serious about her observation. She even said that my hands could be photographed for magazine ads about hand cream, or whatever. Simple statement. Powerful? Yes, I remember those words even 60 years later, and recall that I have often reflected on them, and somehow, no matter how unlovely I ever felt in the past, those words told me again and again that I was special; that I was worthwhile; that someone saw good and beauty in me. What a powerful little statement. Do we ever tell our children, grandchildren, spouses, or friends something good that we see in them? Think about it. It could change someone’s life for the better.
On the other hand. I remember, as a youth again, standing at the kitchen sink, when one of my cousins made the observation that my profile looked like an Indian. Innocent comment. Nothing to feel bad about, but it made me extremely self conscious of my profile appearance, and, to this day, I don’t like my profile to be photographed! We can all be unreasonably sensitive, and quick to read something in a comment that was never intended.
Last Sunday was, not only Father’s Day, but also our 47th Wedding Anniversary! We feasted on old wedding photos, and stepped back 4 decades through delightful photographs of our own 3 babies, and watched them grow again. What a delight they were, and what a blessing they now are. Back in 1974, we wondered what our family would look like….girls? boys? how many? what would they look like? what kind of people would they become? And, now, we know. How delighted we would have been back then. Our lives have been built upon each other…we’ve all added threads to our family tapestry, and those blend so well and make a precious picture.
And to have a partner through it all…a buddy. That’s like having your cake and eating it too! He has been my trusted ‘side-kick’ for so long that I don’t function well without him.
The greatest gift God gives us, is a mate forever more.
You help us to find our way, through each trial of each closed door.
Our first trial is our family; God helps us from above.
You always strive your best to serve in God's sweet love.
Let us strive with heart & mind, body & soul.
Help us live worthy to be blessed that we will forever grow,
Serving Christ & God in perfect love, in pure joy eternally.
Join God's family of perfect love forever, together, pure & free.
From two to fifteen!
One of the best places to find thoughts and stories to help strengthen families is: www.churchofjesuschrist.org
Check it out…and send me a comment about your family, whether it be 1 or 100. How are you blessed by your family?
We watched a movie the other night about transplants. They always perk my interest because of my work in transfusion. I was part of many heart and liver transplants, but they were never very personal for my until the young donor’s heart went to his ailing grandfather, a gentleman known to my parents. And so the personal details had a powerful impact upon me, for both donors and recipients. In the movie, a young man suddenly died, giving organs to 9 recipients. The movie focused on the one receiving a lung transplant, and powerfully portrayed the gratitude for such a gift of life. On the other side, the grief of the family who lost their son was heartbreaking. One of the closing remarks spoken by the father to the lung recipient was a request–before the day ends, call someone (family, husband, wife, brother, sister, friend) and tell them how much you love them without attaching advice or any plea for improvement….just tell them that you love them for who they are.
This poem expresses such sentiments:
Don't wait to see a sunrise, or hold a child that cries.
Don't wait to see a sunset, or help a friend get by.
Don't wait to look for beauty wherever it may be.
Don't wait to tell my mate how much you mean to me.
Don't wait to smell a rose, or watch a storm-tossed sea.
Don't wait to see the glory throughout eternity.
Don't wait to look for wisdom that comes by every trial.
Don't wait to look for the miracles in every babies smile.
There is a wealth of good posts to be found at churchofjesuschrist.org, formerly known as lds.org…check it out.
